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About Literature / Hobbyist BethanyFemale/United Kingdom Recent Activity
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140 deviations
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(Contains: strong language)
We need to talk,
And yeah, it’s a break up line.
But the only reason I feel the need to separate from you
Is because you were never there in the first place,
See the irony?
And yeah, maybe I’m just bitter,
Because life is shit
And I’ve shovelled a lot of it,
And when they tell me I’m not the only one
That’s not really a consolation
Because why exactly were we the ones handed the shovels?
And while I’m asking questions
Whose shit is this anyway?
And why didn’t they clean up after themselves?
So yeah, maybe I’m just bitter
But when all you’ve got is lemons
It’s fucking hard to make sweet lemonade
Despite what they say.

So where have you been?
And be aware that you are facing a loosing battle
Because even if you rally the troops
It’s going to be too little too late
And we’ll all be standing here,
Tapping our feet and asking
What time do you call this?
And you better have a damn good reason
Because we’re about ready to pack your bags,
Send you on your way,
And don’t you dare look back.

You spouted endless love
And we drank it up
But in the end
You’re just an abusive asshole,
You’ve raped us
And beat us,
Made us this way
And then told us it’s our fault.
Well fuck you.
Because I’m tired of this shit.

And yeah, maybe that’s not my best response
But I don’t need a clever vocabulary
Or to invest in a dictionary
To know that you’ve fucked up
And that I’m done taking it up the ass.
You want to hear me talk?
Well then listen up you arrogant prick.

I’ll accept that we blew things out of proportion,
And oh yeah we’ve made our own mistakes
With no help from you,
But you’ve been gone for a while
And all those dominoes you set up?
Well someone knocked one over
And now there’s rubble everywhere,
And you don’t even have the decency
To help clean it up.
And I don’t want a fucking apology,
Though we all know you have a few to hand out,
I want you to get off your throne,
The one that we built hoping for better things,
And see exactly what your message has brought about.

I’m pissed off,
If you hadn’t noticed,
And the thing is
I’d already moved on from you,
Given up on you,
Called you a write off
And got on with my life.
And the world made so much more sense,
Once I’d stopped looking to you for answers.
So we’re done,
End of story,
Said goodbye and moved on.
But I’m not writing because of me
And don’t think that this is going to end happy
Because I’m fucking furious.

Did you know he was crying?
Would you have cared even if you did?
He actually asked if I thought you hated him
And I said no, because no one could hate him
And it was what he needed to hear,
But honestly?
I don’t have a clue what you think anymore.
He is a creature of love,
And it was your voice that taught him hate.
The scary thing is
He’s not the only one crying,
He’s not the only one hating his own desires
And wishing that he could be ‘better’.
And yeah, maybe they weren’t your words
But they were said in your name.

I don’t even want your help.
I don’t want you to set things right,
Because let’s face it,
Everything you touch
Turns to shit
And we’re all a little tired of shovelling.
No, I just wanted you to know.
I want you to own your mistakes,
See what you’ve done.
And then walk away.

Because after all,
That’s all you’ve ever done.
Maybe we let you down
But you’re punishing the children
For the parent’s crimes.
And we’ve had enough.
Letter to god.
I think I've said enough
There is grit
Trapped under my eyelids.
I’m not sure how it got there,
I don’t remember shedding tears,
But there is no denying
This is the salt left over from crying.

And I think there’s something
That my mind is avoiding,
Something I’ve whispered to my pillow
In the darkness
When the words were too heavy.
But it won’t yet tell me.

I don’t dare move.
I’m staring at the same dark smudge
On the white wall.
My muscles ache.
My eyes itch.
But if I move
Everything will shatter.

Something is missing.
And I’ve been crying.
I’m too tired to check if it’s still raining.
That moment between sleep and wakefulness in the morning, that moment when you don't remember. It's almost more painful. Almost. 
I am basking in the sun
But I do not remember
Leaving the sanctity of the indoors.
You play with my fingers,
Faceless but smiling,
And whisper sweet nothings
That I don’t listen to.
Your voice fades into the background
Along with out of sync birdsong
And the wind rustling leaves
That I cannot see from the ground.
I turn to you, but not really,
I’m still looking at the sky,
Watching the clouds move slowly
And trying to figure out
If my eyes are playing tricks
Or whether this is proof that we are spinning
A thousand miles an hour
Without even standing up.
But more likely
It is just the wind.
And I say something about being a romantic
And your whisperings pause
Before starting up again
And I’m still not listening.
The grass has been cut recently
And it’s too sharp on my skin,
I want to leave, find somewhere softer,
But you’re still holding my hand,
Your fingertips tapping mine
In a rhythm I don’t understand
And it feels wrong
To make you move
When you are rarely so content.
And finally I look at you
And pay attention to what you’re whispering
And I can’t make sense of it at first.
Your eyes meet mine and your smile is soft,
You squeeze my fingers
And tell me that you can feel the scars.
I shiver. The sun is no longer so warm.
Can feel the scars, you say,
One two three
So many and so pretty.
How many times did he grab your hands,
How many times did you feel your bones grind?
Your skin is so pretty in the sunlight.
Did he ever make you scream?
And I try to pull my hand free
But you’ve got me
And I wonder when we got here,
When I let you take my hand from me,
When you started whispering my fears with a smile,
And when I stopped listening.
And I watch the clouds move across the sky,
And wish that the sun would warm by bones,
While you play with my fingers,
Finally warm and happy,
Telling me that he made me pretty.
Faceless but smiling.
I really don't like my nightmares sometimes. 


Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
United Kingdom
Current Residence: my own little world
Favourite style of art: landscapes or waterscapes
MP3 player of choice: ipod nano/touch
Personal Quote: anywhere, everywhere and all the places in between

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xXI-Feel-InfiniteXx Featured By Owner Apr 28, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
thanks for the fave :heart:
Kizin-of-kaplumba Featured By Owner May 21, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Wow, thank you very very much, I'm honoured. I hope you keep making features, it's good way of introducing new art to people and it's always appreciated by the artists. And I hope I keep writing things that you enjoy, thank you again
xxBatzyxx Featured By Owner May 21, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
My pleasure, dear :)
Allons-ySherlock Featured By Owner Mar 15, 2015  Student Photographer
Happy Birthday! :)
live-for-the-stars Featured By Owner Mar 15, 2015
Happy Birthday!
XxStarstormxX Featured By Owner Mar 15, 2015  Student
Happy birthday! :D
teaisloveteaislife Featured By Owner Mar 15, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Happy birthday!! :cake: have a good one~ :dance:
DropDeadKrislyn Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you oh so much for the watch! :blowkiss:
xXI-Feel-InfiniteXx Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you for the fave and watch Danisnotonfire: FEELS 
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